Day 01 | Day 02 | Day 03 | Day 04 | Day 05 | Day 06 | Day 07 | Day 08 | Day 09 | Day 10 | Day 11 | Day 12 | Day 13 | Day 14 | Day 15 | Day 16 | Day 17 | Day 18Day 19 | Day 20 | Day 21

Day 22: How have you changed the past 2 years?

Ok, past two years so that’s from October 2014 to present.

As I mentioned here, I was alive but I was not really living after my mom’s death. She was everyone’s anchor in the family, not only for us siblings but also for her own siblings too. We lost her in July 2013. This loss was even magnified because of the new responsibilities I had to face. And so, more than a year later, I haven’t really moved on and I just continued to wallow in sadness.

However, I knew then that I need to do something about it. Her time with us was up. She won’t be coming back to our lives anymore.

Backtrack a bit. On September 2014, I went for a personal retreat at Cenacle Sisters in Quezon City. While I knew that my feelings, concerns and attitudes that time were correct given the situation, it was good to hear it from another person that I am indeed just doing what needs to be done. I was able to really pray harder, evaluate my current situation, made letters to my sister and friends, especially to one of my closest friends who I had a falling out with because of my own doing. While not all letters reached the recipients, that was really a good exercise to unload all my thoughts and feelings.

I came out of that retreat more hopeful and thankful. Of course it wasn’t an overnight thing but I guess that started my healing process. I was in this state when we lost our father in January 2015, and while it was another painful experience, it became bearable at that time.

Other than these, life has been treating me fairly well, as seen in the succeeding events following my father’s death, and when I recently listed down my highs and lows for the past year.

Thank you, Lord.