Sarili ko na nga lang kalaban ko ngayon. Deep down, I know I want it (and I have one bad reason for wanting it har har har) and I know I can do it. I have been doing some of it for sometime now. But sometimes, just the thought of it makes me so nervous and then I suddenly decide to not just do it. I fear that I may not be able to do the things that are outside of my comfort zone huhu. I’m such a pessimist. Nggrsh! (To which my colleague says, “You’ll never know you can do it unless you do it. It’s not right to stay forever in your comfort zone”.) I also fear rejection wahaha. In this game, there’s a big (as in BIG) chance that I’ll loose. I’m not also sure of the support I’ll be getting. Ack! Tough!
But then again, it’s one opportunity that I think (and another colleague thinks as well) I should not let it pass. This was the same opportunity before but I did not grab it. Now it’s here again. The way my colleague puts it, maybe, just maybe this is really meant for me.
I just want to get over with it since it’s been giving me headaches and sleepless nights for the past days, and distraction at work. I just have to do it or I’ll forever wonder with “What Ifs”. Hopefully, by next week, I’ll have the opportunity. I have been waiting since Tuesday but to no avail. I had one yesterday but I chickened out. Corny! Anyway, at least I’ll have time to emotionally prepare this weekend so that when the time comes, I’ll sound convincing and confident. Wahuhu!
Life sometimes is complicated. Or maybe not. Maybe I’m just the one making it complicated. Whichever!
While in this battle, my colleague has been quoting this interesting line from the movie The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian:
Prince Caspian: “I do not believe I am ready yet.”
Also, my two songs now are Go the Distance and Win (which explains the title of this post :p).